I try to write at least once a week. Does that take discipline and self determination? Will the sun rise tomorrow?
But when I break it down, the hardest part — the part for which I need the discipline — is finding the inspiration. And to search for the inspiration, I need the discipline to go find it when it simply refuses to pop up. Sounds like vicious cycle, doesn’t it?
Sometimes there is simply nothing. Blank. Void. White page. No muse, no thoughts, nothing smart to say or even contemplate. The little green man inside of me – my lizard brain – refuses to kick start and move.
And as I am sitting idly thinking how to overcome this nothingness, I catch myself thinking of my musts, all these personally imposed rules of “grit”, perseverance and determination. If I try to analyze my thoughts, maybe I’ll figure out why sometimes I have been drained from ideas, inspiration, enthusiasm, and energy.
I am puzzled. I absorb data; I read commentaries, articles, editorials and research. I talk to people. Lots of people – and yet, a gray hazy fog is clouding my brain. I am distracted, melancholy, and kinda “blue”.
“Depleted” is the term in positive psychology. So, I need to drink -and replenish – from the fountain of encouragement, energy and fire. But, basically, I have to make the commitment to just do whatever I need to do -whatever I’ve put my mind to. And when I articulate the commitment, the promise, the pledge I am already half way there. Because I and only I will be accountable for what I set out to do.
And sometimes – for some people – that sense of having finished what they said and promised to do is the greatest thing. Much more so if the one you made the promise to, is just you.