Binders Full Of Women

October 19, 2012 by Leda Karabela - Leave your comment

You know the definition of a social error, faux pas, gaffe: inadvertent, unintentional and unfiltered blurt.

It happened – again – during the last presidential debate, and now the rest is history and a useful lesson in public speaking, self-control and the dangers of overblown rhetoric. The “binders” moment went viral right away with @RomneysBinders and @womaninabinder Twitter handles. Almost 350,000 people have supported a Facebook page about what a politically dumb statement this was. But this is not about politics – just inspired by it.

People have a tendency to need heroes however crooked and deceitful. Popular actors who play doctors on TV are stopped on the street by folks who want to ask them about their medical problems. They know perfectly well that they are only actors and yet, they are looking for hope and consolation – who cares if it’s ephemeral and fake.

It’s the impression that counts – and what better than the electorate’s impressions of a presidential candidate – hence the political example. And the hilarity lived on while “Hillary/ty” and the feminist agenda blew out of hysterical proportion.

“None of us really likes honesty. We prefer deception —but only when it is unabashedly flattering or artfully camouflaged.” Bill Boner put it very eloquently in his Mobs, Messiahs, and Markets book (fun reading).

Psychologists have looked into the mystery of persuasion and studies confirm that people are more likely to be swayed by a confident con man than someone with less confidence or charisma who actually knows what he/she is talking about. In a range of experiments, simpler explanations are judged more likely to be true than complex explanations, not because simpler explanations actually explain more, but rather just because they are simpler. But truth is not necessarily always simple.

So, we live in the age of impressing or the state of being impressed- actually we always lived in this age. It’s just that today it’s much easier to win/lose our battles in milliseconds. So, be simple, be brave, be real to what you really believe in – but whatever you do – just don’t put it in binders – unless you really want to be bound:-)

In Fellow Men (and Women) We Trust

October 6, 2012 by Leda Karabela - Leave your comment
“Science creates a world where individuals can play the role of the collective. Two boys create Google. One boy creates Facebook. Another individual creates Apple. These gentlemen changed the world without political parties or armies or fortunes.  So we are all surprised. It is a new world. You may have the strongest army—but it cannot conquer ideas, it cannot conquer knowledge.”  Shimon Peres: Leading in the 21st Century – an Interview

It’s all about singing of the heart. Whatever we do, think, imagine, create – it’s all related to that sense of connection to something bigger or better. Can you do this – without inspiration? And what is inspiration if not that instantaneous surge of power? No limits there; no impediments; no obstacles. You can simply do it – or at that very moment feel that you can.

And somehow the serenity of connection makes you feel that you can fly. And there you let go. And you trust – even if the task seems insane, improbable, unreachable – you do trust yourself and the small world around you that it will help you, propel you to do it.

But no, it’s not that simple – and while it seems like a click and a moment, it’s actually much more complex and does not come in a vacuum.

Your chances to get that injection of energy multiply in the collective, the connectivity, the interactions, the engagement. And no, it’s not about the hype, and networking and fluff and all this talk about Facebook and Pinterest and social media but about the meaningful moments you share – when bonds and ties and allegiances are shaped because you let yourself open up to understanding, learning, listening and in the end trusting. And it takes time, and commitment, and honesty and being brave enough to be real.

So, no it’s not in God we Trust (while all others are paying cash) – but in those who have earned our trust while we have earned theirs – and it’s a cycle and it’s spinning and hopefully it grows – the circle of our trust.

We Are All Olympians

August 11, 2012 by Leda Karabela - Leave your comment

Courtesy of The Daily Beast

With all eyes on the London Olympics – practically two thirds of the planet are watching – we have never been more connected in our cultural disconnect. In a manner of speaking, we are all Olympians – OK, couch Olympians, I know.

We each choose and pick our heroes, Gabby Douglas, Usain Bolt, Zhe Feng. Michael Phelps’ magic number 22 made history and broke the record making him the most decorated Olympian of all times. Yet for me, Le Clos’ tears on the podium will be one of the most interesting and touching memories of the games. Does it have to do with underdogs? Country nationalism? Sappy, lachrymose soft spot? I love S. Africa but nothing binds me to her – yet I savor great effort including the incredible grit and resilience of Oscar Pistorius. Does it really matter that Pistorius did not make it to the finals, that he did not win the gold?

We have all been conditioned to live the fantasy of winning. And the global hype maneuvers and stirs us in the “right” direction of the win. Yeah, yeah…pep talks about consolation: the thrill of the game, the healthy competition, the participation and the good fight that “supposedly” matter. Down deep we all think we want to win -that’s what they taught us.

But when a simple Google search says it all, then it’s time to seriously reconsider.

We are all Olympians in our simple non-glamorous lives – our life is the stadium – and while the world is not watching, we still have to play our greatest game like if we are going for our own personal gold. And life’s a game, ain’t it?

For Everyone

July 28, 2012 by Leda Karabela - Leave your comment

 

The world simply loved the tweet!

Tim Berners-Lee’s four words at the London 2012 Opening Ceremony lit up the stadium hitting a chord for the world. Is it all about the world wide web or is it about the idea that somehow we are in this together – maybe the 99% of us?

Is it the “everyone” part? No distinctions, discrimination, dissimilarities. Or is it the “for” part – that someone opened up the divide creating the revolution in the way we see, hear, and feel the world?

Maybe I am a romantic. Thankfully I am not alone…

Failing To Notice

July 25, 2012 by Leda Karabela - Leave your comment

 

Could not resist mischievous endearing Albert this morning.

This was the moment I finally noticed: “Because we fail to notice that we fail to notice there is little we can do until we notice.”

Having not been my usual self these last few months, his cluttered-empty mind juxtaposition hit a nerve.

I have always been a multi-tasker, yet, in the last few months, my own defined and self-imposed and until previously strictly disciplined productivity has been at its lowest.

Dealing with a family crisis, everything personally pleasing has been on pause. Silence loud and shuttering – while coping with hundreds of decisions on top of my grief and the crisis-in-chief kind of role I have been playing.

I had to stop doing certain things, so I could do some others.

And so the empty, uncluttered virtual desk of mine came to occupy my personal space.

It’s now been four months and decision fatigue finally hit me hard.

The simple act of making decisions, says Roy Baumeister, progressively depletes our ability to make them well.  “Experiments confirmed the 19th-century notion of willpower being like a muscle that was fatigued with use, a force that could be conserved by avoiding temptation. To study the process of ego depletion, researchers concentrated initially on acts involving self-control ­— the kind of self-discipline popularly associated with willpower, like resisting a bowl of ice cream…”

It suddenly dawned on me. I have been resisting all along. Pleasures, whatever little or big they may be – we can only live so much without them. Things that give you that inner peace and satisfaction and meaning – whatever your schtick may be – necessary antidotes to all the unpleasant yet necessary things we have to do in life.

And somehow, I am not content with the excuse that I have been coping with a crisis – that I need time – that I had failed to notice.

 

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