Everybody Lies

You know… Everybody lies. Confess! You lie, too.

No? Really? Watch this:

Everybody lies – and you pretend it’s those white lies that you say so you don’t shock people, make them sad, angry, hurt or whatever. The excuse is always “the other people.” And occasionally, when you do speak the truth, you are accused of selfishness and self-absorption.

We are raised in what the authenticity guru Brené Brown calls a “scarcity culture,” where we are viewed as never enough. We are always afraid that others will see us as we see ourselves: not good enough. So, we think we have to play “nice.”  Adrienne Rich adds: “In lying to others we end up lying to ourselves. We deny the importance of an event, or a person, and thus deprive ourselves of a part of our lives. Or we use one piece of the past or present to screen out another. Thus we lose faith even within our own lives.”

And then there is integrity, morality, ethics, honesty and all that “good stuff.” And is there a “should?”

“The word ‘should’ in our internal narratives is very toxic – elegantly articulates Maria Popova.  This notion of, “what should I be doing?” is always pegged to some sort of expectation, whether it’s self-imposed or external or a combination of the two. It’s hard to balance those expectations of what you should be doing with what you want to be doing.”

So, in the end ask yourself what do you really want to be doing? Your truth, your lie…